I love my hairy armpits - here's how it happened
Since hair started growing under my armpit I shaved it. I never let it be there. Not even like 2mm hair was okay for me, I shaved my armpits every day. I wanted to look neat and clean. For me it was clear that women are not supposed to have hair under the armpits. I remember when I was a teenage girl I joked a lot with my friends about armpit hair. It was a disgusting, unacceptable thing.
Why I started growing it
At some point I started thinking. I started thinking on my own, started questioning status quo. I was (btw and still am) on a radical #selflove journey and i love having a fun life. So I gave myself a little life challenge: Sophia you are not going to shave your pits until you feel truly beautiful and sexy with the hair!
Simple self-love practice: Do nothing, do not change yourself and feel great as you are.
It was not easy!
It took me 3 months to not be embarrassed. I did that in the summertime and it was absolutely crazy to observe how hard it is for me to respect my own body. I thought people were staring at me, or my armpits, all the time. Maybe they were, maybe not, I don’t know but nowadays magically no one is staring at my armpits anymore. I was so scared that I gross people out and that people think I stink, and I am too lazy to take care of my body and being lazy is (especially in Germany) not a good character trait, blablabla you get what I mean. Super crazy movie fueled of insecurity in my head.
So yeah the beginning was hard but something shifted. It was because i really want to love myself very hard. I spent time with my hair, was getting to know it. I took time and space to look at it, feel it, basically getting to know myself. Because I shaved it since ever I had no idea how it even looked like. The color, the texture,… . That was so interesting and exciting. Will it be curly at some point? Will it be the structure of my pubic hair or more like the hair on my head? Will the color get lighter by the sun? How long does it gow, is there an end or does it juts keep growing? So many interesting questions.
Signs that I started accepting myself more
At some point I started feeling very very sexy. Like a wild, untamed women, one that can not be tamed by societies beauty standard at least. Also I realized: I do not look dirty or unclean. I am not so tall and my style is playful. I like adding and edge to my look so I do not look “too nice” or “too boring” and I define that by when I feel like I look different than I am. I mean I am seriously writing for a Blog called “fuck that shit” I am not the most vanilla person I know.
I like challenging peoples believes, inspire humans to change their mind and question their thoughts.
Today, around 2 years after the experiment
Now I am totally, totally fine with the hair that grows there. I still can not love all my body hair but the armpit is fine. I sometimes trim it and 1 time I have completely shaved it and that was interesting because I did not like it. I felt weird with non-hairy armpits. Like Right Said Fred (you know the band) is having a come back under my arms, like Lindsay Lohan climbing out of a a Ferrari in the 2006 with no panties, like over plugged eyebrows.
When someone asks “why do you have hair there?” I am very chill about it. I do not get upset or insecure anymore. If I feel like it’s worth it I tell the story, or I just say “I think in general our body grows hair in certain areas for protection but since I am not a biologist I don’t know why I have it.”
Once I had a conversation with my mum that made us both realize how ok I am with myself. She was a bit shocked about my answer but I think also proud, to have me and my pretty armpit hair as her daughter. She told me “Sophia, remove it, it does not look nice” and I answered something like “Oh ja okay, yes you are right my body as it is it totally unacceptable and disgusting and I should change it to be a real women.” My answer was a bit rough, but the second I spilled it out we both laughed.
Yeah, but what does your boyfriend say?
“Man like women, that’s it” - my boyfriend
I just asked him if it’s the truth when I write that for him, just like for me, it was a process to not be irritated by it anymore just because he was not used to it and… He did not let me finish talking
How disgraceful that I was so unfamiliar with a part my own body. I had lived in this body for 20 somethings years and appreciated it so little. Just the fact that somehow my body knows, that it needs to grow hair at this part and not accidentally somewhere else - is a freaking miracle.
I realized that it was not okay for me, to not find myself beautiful as I am and I now think that it’s totally nuts to be even disgusted by your own body. I mean mama nature for sure is a bit more clever than me. I know nothing she knows everything. So theres a reason I got these hair and it’s disrespecting nature and very arrogant to think you know better “how it should be”.
your life, your body, your choice
I don’t want to rant on society and how the female body is portrait in the media and that this influenced me growing up, because I feel I victimize myself and all of us doing that. There are always things that can be improved thus there are always things happening that are fucked up. It takes us humans some time and space to realize it and some more time and space to improve. Fortunately we are all blessed with an infinite consciousness and a nice brain so if we want, we can free ourselves from cultural norms or whatever it is that’s holding us and be who we want to be.